Shopping Malls. A 21st century update.

With apologies to James Pierpont, I give you my rendition of Shopping Malls, a 21st century update of his Jingle Bells.

Shopping Malls

Dashing through the aisles
Looking for a bargain
O’er the stores we go
Shopping all the way
Bells on registers ring
Making wallets light
Oh what fun it is to shop
In a shopping mall tonight.

Oh, shopping malls, shopping malls
Shopping night and day
Oh what fun it is to shop
In a shopping mall today! Hay!
Shopping malls, shopping malls!
Shopping night and day
Oh what fun it is to shop
In a shopping mall today.

A day or two to go
I thought I’d get a start
Made my Christmas list
Checked it over twice
Horns in parking lots
Stores were packed so tight
Could hardly find a gift today
I’ll have to return tonight.

Oh, shopping malls, shopping malls
Shopping night and day
Oh what fun it is to shop
In a shopping mall today! Hay!
Shopping malls, shopping malls!
Shopping night and day
Oh what fun it is to shop
In a shopping mall today.

Made it back that night
Found a parking spot
Hiked a half a mile
The mall was locked up tight!
The only place to go
Was the all-night convenience store
That’s why ev’rybody on my list
Got lottery tickets as gifts.

Oh, shopping malls, shopping malls
I can’t stand those places
It’s no fun to shop all day
With a zillion other faces!
Shopping malls, shopping malls
Burn those places down
Next year I’ll just stay at home
And do my shopping in town.

Your Center City Correspondent hopes you had a Merry Christmas and have a wonderful New Year.  See you at the parade.